americanonline:

americanonline:

look at how frickin content this snail is with his little stick

i think we all need to calm down and look at this snail again

(Source: 1612th, via isitasolarfever)

houseplants:

Evelyn Monette built a tarp to protect the squirrels went to the principals office bc her daughter got caught smoking and said “so what the fuck is wrong with kate” wait til you get to my office and we’ll smoke a pack now get the microscope out of kate’s ass.

Put this thing in rewind

Caught a cab to wal mart in hats and stilettos. There was one cab in town.

Jerry Monette – met her husband because of a fear of spiders 

houseplants:

keeping your enemies close because

they weren’t enemies

they were just better

The old you.
The one who ate miso out of coffee mugs.

fucking kelsey can’t go with me to my brother’s graduation in paris tennessee 

now what the hell am I going to do. Stuff my face with sausage balls? Yes that was the plan all the while. Now I have to do it alone. 

brandnewswastikas:

They call them “leaves” because they don’t want to be around you because you are awful. 

(via 88844888)

my mom is broke

because she had to chip in

for my brother’s share

of a party bus.