I love the sims because I love architecture, interior design, and playing god
I keep group texting my divorced parents and it’s like we’re a family again
Episodes of Hoarders re-edited to look like episodes of MTV’s Cribs.
King Soloman’s Mines is a really special little film made in 1985 that surpasses the Elvis spanking a pre teen scene in Blue Hawaii by about 8,000 points.
Best part so far is when the hero and the lady are in a pot, obviously about to be eaten by cannibals and he makes the observation that they must prefer white meat. There’s also a part where he refers to the lady as a talking rug, now I think they’re about to fuck in the pot. They rolled down a hill and are cuddling in the soup broth. Oh wait nm a lion interrupted them. Nope, still gonna fuck.
Then there’s some scene like “aw these natives are so cute and nice and too bad the world is evil and their stupid little brains will never be able to comprehend it, the little idiots!”
And then they give the lady a diamond crown because “they’ve probably never seen a white woman before” Please watch it and then remember it was made just 30 years ago. It is unreal
So I was working for this guy in Oakland Hills, as what I assumed to be your basic personal assistant job - running errands and updating excel documents and scheduling shit. He just sent me an email saying he wanted to transition into someone who had more time to finish “projects.” Imaginary projects that would never manifest because he had absolutely no need for a personal assistant. The last thing he wanted me to do was help have his backyard redone so I set him up with an appointment for a landscaping consultation and he had me cancel at the last minute. This sort of thing happened a lot. He always wanted to work together at coffee shops. Just making arbitrary documents about California native plant landscaping. I feel like I just avoided being raped and murdered. Turns out he thought I was 20 and single. I was actually too old and married. I brought Cole to his house once and he wouldn’t even let us in. He just barely opened the door and slipped the paperwork I was picking up through the crack. It was the weirdest hob goblin shit I have ever seen. He wants me to come out there to drop off his credit card and keys. I’m gonna mail it I think. Too scared.
I got some postcards who wants one